Connect with Friends

By L. H. Gray
Independent Contractor

1/28/2008

A friend laughs with you when you drop your keys in the toilet. He gives you a helping hand to fix your deck. She cries when your mom is dying. He tags along to the movies and makes as much noise eating popcorn as you do. She tells you to suck it up and get a better attitude because everyone has a bad day.

Friends are the connection to life.

Man or woman, young or old, everybody needs a couple of good friends. Buddies. Pals. Confidants. They give you that feeling of belonging. You matter, really matter, to someone.

Many adults, however, lose touch with friends. Priorities like work and family leave little time to connect with friends. There are moves to other towns and job changes that put distance between friends. Sometimes friends gradually grow apart over the years as they make less and less of an effort to get together.

But without friends there is no one to share life with—the good and the bad.

It takes effort to make and keep friends. But friendship is so important to our emotional and mental well being. So, if your circle of friends has grown lean, make a new friend or two this year. Here are some ways to help you develop friendships.

1. Reconnect with an old friend. This is a great way to add to your circle of friends. This person already has a history with you and knows a lot about you. He/she probably shares a lot of the same interests as you, which made you friends in the first place. It could be someone you went to school with or worked with, but haven’t kept in touch with. Chances are, he or she will be mighty glad to hear from you and catch up on lost time.
2. Pursue a hobby. Do you collect baseball cards, whittle wood, raise horses or play the guitar? There are clubs and groups in most communities for all types of hobbyists. If you don’t have time to join a club in your hometown, get online and find others with the same interests. You may end up hitting it off with another hobbyist and making a good friend for years to come.
3. Volunteer for a cause. With little home time to spare, you may be able to give only a few hours every month to a cause you believe in, but you would soon begin to know the others in the group. It could be a humanitarian project, a local church outreach, or a shelter. Whatever the project, it would give you the chance to form strong friendships with others who have the same values as you do.
4. Give and accept invitations. Don’t be shy about asking someone to join you for coffee or share the table at your dinner stop. It’ll help pass the time and you may end up walking away with a new friend. And when someone invites you into their world, consider it.
5. Get out and be friendly. If you’re going to make a friend, you have to be around people. You also need to be approachable. So, put on your best smile and take a walk in the park, visit your neighbors, get involved in a church or community center, or join the gym (even if you only use it once a week).

A good friend boosts your self worth and gives extra meaning to life. A good friend also tells you when your zipper is down.

The author is a certified through the American Council on Exercise as a Personal Fitness Trainer, Lifestyle & Weight Management Consultant, and Advanced Fitness Specialist.